The Simple Solution to Trump's Reflecting Pool Scandal

Releasing the tapes is more eco-friendly than hydrogen peroxide, and less toxic than letting rumors fester. But Trump will never do it, because he never has.

Algae-Gate continues apace at the Reflecting Pool, with the situation now escalating. Trump has begun claiming that the rapid deterioration of the Reflecting Pool’s condition is not the result of shoddy work done by grifter cronies on a no-bid contract, nor is it a function of stagnant water simmering under climate change-induced summer sun. It is, in fact, the work of “vandals.”

These elusive “vandals” have taken “some form of knife or blade, and put a 250 foot long gash into the beautiful facade of what took so much work, competence, and money to build and complete. They also poured corrosive and destructive chemicals into the Pool,” according to Trump on Truth Social. Predictably, the 250 foot gash has evolved into a 300 foot gash according to Trump’s newest screed this morning. It hit 350 feet this afternoon. I’m excited to see what new lengths tomorrow brings.

These vandals remain unidentified even under the watch of National Guardsmen deployed to the Reflecting Pool. And they were apparently reckless enough to do their dirty work under 24/7 surveillance - there’s a permanent wide angle camera mounted atop the Washington Monument. You can drop in on the feed any time.

OK, granted, it’s an extremely wide angle, and you’d need some CSI-grade zoom-in technology to get a good look at the alleged vandals. But Trump himself claims there are tapes. So this is a problem very easily solved. Just release the tapes, and we can clear this all up. (Not the water, of course; that much has proven impossible.)

Not gonna happen.

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As erratic as Trump’s behavior can be, at the end of the day, he’s the most predictable guy there is. Because he’s been in this exact same kind of situation before - backed into a corner, attacked on some spurious claim that can be easily cleared up by evidence he confidently proclaims exists but never actually produces.

Trump could have released the Epstein Files and dispelled the toxic rumors that have dogged his second term and tanked his approval ratings. He promised to do it. We’re still waiting and he’s still getting roasted over it.

Trump continues to perpetuate the blatant and repeatedly disproven lie that the 2020 election was stolen, claiming there’s tons of evidence. He’s siccing his lackeys on election officials, seizing ballots, sending minions to monitor vote counts in California, and has yet to publicly produce a single piece of viable evidence to support the claim.

Earlier this year, in the most egregious instance of this practice, after ICE agents shot and killed two innocent Americans during immigration raids in Minneapolis, Trump insisted “the tapes” proved that the killings were in self defense, that the victims had attacked the agents. Only that time, there was footage, and it completely debunked the claims, and revealed Trump for the liar that he is.

Which is exactly why we’ll never get the Epstein Files or evidence of a stolen election, or - for that matter - security camera footage of a team of vandals doing a football field’s-worth of damage to a very public national monument in broad daylight. Either it doesn’t exist, or he’s just refusing to release the footage that would validate his claims. I’ll let you be the judge of that.

So, just like the putrid water in the reflecting pool, Trump will continue to circle the drain, clinging to lies like a life raft.