The Art of the Deal with Yourself

Trump is vying to become the Quad God of legal maneuvers by landing a feat of corruption: suing and settling with his own government, only to walk away with a $1.776 billion slush fund and immunity.

Let’s do the math.

We have roughly 1,500 convicted January 6 insurrectionists, who stormed the Capitol, assaulted police officers, threatened to kill members of Congress, and tried to overturn the election. Most have already been treated to a pardon. Now they may also be looking at a payday.

Trump’s $1.776 billion slush fund (a little on the nose) divided by 1,500 “patriots” comes out to more than a million dollars each.

A million dollars. Per insurrectionist. Courtesy of the American taxpayer.

(For context: the average American makes about $60,000 a year. So while you’re paying your taxes, Trump is cutting you a check to the guy who beat a Capitol police officer with a flagpole. You’re welcome.)

The Art of the Deal with Yourself

Earlier this year, Trump filed a $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS, accusing the agency of failing to protect his tax returns from an unauthorized leak. To be clear, that’s a sitting president suing his own government for billions.

The situation is so absurd, even Kafka would think it’s a little much. Trump himself called it out, saying, “I am supposed to work out a settlement with myself.” He’s acknowledging the absurdity, as if to mock everyone watching.

And work out a settlement, he did.

On Monday, Trump’s legal team moved to drop the lawsuit - again, filed essentially against himself, since he is in charge of the government. But not before the Justice Department - which, again, Trump controls - agreed to create a $1.776 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund” as part of the settlement. The fund will be overseen by a five-member commission appointed entirely by the Attorney General. The Attorney General is Todd Blanche. Todd Blanche was, until recently, Trump’s personal criminal defense attorney.

And for good measure, Trump can also fire any member of the commission at will.

So, essentially, what you’re looking at is Trump suing Trump and winning a massive payout for Trump to be overseen by Trump.

There are, per the Justice Department, “no partisan requirements to file a claim.”

And here’s the part that should make your jaw drop: Trump’s lawyers argued in their filing that the dismissal was “self-executing” — that “no judicial analysis is appropriate.” They didn’t just settle the case. They argued the judge assigned to it had no right to look at it. U.S. District Judge Kathleen Williams agreed to close the case but noted pointedly that Trump’s lawyers never actually referenced a settlement in open court. “Because the Notice does not reference any settlement,” she wrote, “there is no settlement of record.”

A Columbia Law professor called it a “collusive suit” — a president negotiating between two entities he controls, with no requirement that any claimant prove their rights were actually violated. There’s barely any evidence of a judicial system’s involvement at all: no judge, no jury, no standard of evidence. Just a commission of Trump appointees handing out checks.

Here’s How it Ends

You didn’t think Trump wasn’t going to sweeten the deal with himself for himself, did you? In the fine print of the settlement: the IRS is now barred from taking action against Trump, his sons, the Trump Organization, and affiliated entities for past tax issues related to “Lawfare and/or Weaponization.”

So, he dropped a $10 billion lawsuit and got $1.776 billion for his allies, personal legal immunity from IRS claims, and made sure no judge could scrutinize any of it.

It Has Unconstitutional Written all Over it

This should come as a surprise to no one, but it warrants saying it out loud: this might just be unconstitutional on its face.

Section four of the 14th Amendment explicitly prohibits federal dollars from going to pay the debts of insurrection and rebellion against the United States. This, by the way, is the same amendment Republicans invoke selectively when it’s convenient for them. As Congressman Jamie Raskin put it in my interview with him, that provision was considered important enough to include directly into the plain text of the Constitution.

Congress never appropriated a dollar for this fund, and they never would. The money comes from the DOJ’s Judgment Fund, which is a permanent appropriation that allows the department to settle cases.

Trump not only did backflips, he’s executed a magic trick: he moved $1.776 billion in taxpayer money without a single Congressional vote. Poof - checks and balances have disappeared.

The House Democrats’ Litigation Task Force has already filed a motion to block it. Rep. Raskin is pushing a discharge petition that would require three or four Republicans to sign on. Don’t hold your breath (especially with the ouster of Bill Cassidy and Thomas Massie, who dared challenge the president’s total control). But I would keep an eye the federal district courts. That’s where this actually gets challenged.

A Precedent with Teeth

Here’s how I know Republicans aren’t thinking more than one step ahead. Because they’re setting a precedent that’s going to come back to bite them. What happens when a Democratic president does this?

What if the next Democratic administration decides to sue itself, settle with itself, and create a $500 billion fund — fully funding Planned Parenthood, Greenpeace, Everytown for Gun Safety, and so on — using the exact same mechanism Trump just established?

If Trump gets away with this, the answer is: probably nothing stops them.

The people cheering this decision haven’t thought it through. It’s so obvious that their blind fealty to Trump has completely clouded their vision. Because by handing this president carte blanche, they’re giving it to every future president, too.

That’s the thing about Republicans. They’re not thinking about you or your future. They’re thinking about power, and how to get it immediately and keep it for themselves. But it’s shortsighted, for all the reasons I’ve laid out here.

That’s why they’re so afraid of what’s coming in the midterms. That’s why they’re racing to redraw the maps in their favor. Because they know they’ve turned on the people, and the people are going to turn on them, too.