I Wrestled for 10 Years. Here’s How I Know Trump’s Not Going to Enjoy His UFC Birthday Party

The irony of a man who’s never earned a win watching people who can’t fake one.

I wrestled for 10 years. I’ve been following the rise and slow motion fall of Trump for almost as long. That these two things that have dominated my life will collide tonight on the monstrosity erected on the South Lawn for Trump’s 80th birthday UFC extravaganza is just dripping with irony.

What I learned as a wrestler was that on the mat, there’s no way to hide. There are no shortcuts. It’s you and your opponent out there. If you don’t put in the work, you lose. I also learned discipline. I spent most of my high school career cutting weight. I’d go to school with a baggie of iceberg lettuce. Even if I hadn’t eaten in a week, if I was still over weight, that was all I got. It was mentally excruciating, physically exhausting, physiologically challenging. But at the end of a bout, when my hand was raised, there was the ecstasy of knowing it was all worth it. The hard work paid off. I did that.

Trump has never been able to honestly say that once in his entire life. His entire existence has been marked by a desire to steal credit for what other people built. He got rich off the backs of contractors he stiffed. He slapped his name on products and brands that failed. He has no lasting legacy other than his willingness to plow over people while enriching himself.

And the dichotomy tonight is going to be stark: a guy who lied, cheated, and stole his way through life, watching fighters who could only get to that octagon because they worked for it. There’s no way to lie, cheat, or steal your way through a fight. Tonight, his big walk-out will be from the Oval Office to the Octagon. Twenty feet, maybe thirty. I wouldn’t put money on him making it in a straight line.

He’ll bask in the spotlight of an event paid for in sweat and blood that isn’t his, on a lawn that, by the league’s own estimate, will cost $700,000 to repair afterward.

A bigger man might draw a lesson from that about what it actually looks like to work for something. He’s not that. His whole legacy will be having conned his supporters into voting for him on the pretense that he’d help them, when the only people he’s ever looked out for are the ones in his own family.

That’s exactly how he’s governed. While he swore on the campaign trail that he’d focus on an America First agenda, since the moment he took office, it’s been about him. His new jet. His ballroom. His gold-plated Oval Office. His reflecting pool. His arch. All for him.

Tonight, Trump will watch from the good seats under The Claw he built for himself. He’ll pose for photos with titans of industry like UFC president Dana White, his family members who are obligated to be there, and not a single celebrity invitee - they all turned him down. He’ll wave and clap and bask in the attention he orchestrated for himself. Hopefully, he’ll be able to stay awake for the whole event - his track record isn’t great, and Knicks fans won’t let him forget it.

But when they run the photos tomorrow, if you look closely, I bet you might be able to see something like humiliation in his eyes. Because tonight, he’ll be surrounded by people who have worked hard to earn the win, and he’s going to feel exactly how small he is.